PSA: You Do Not Need to Justify Your Anxiety

10:16 PM

I am a highly anxious person, it's not a secret, I live with three different types of Anxiety running through these veins there is rarely a time that i don't feel some kind of anxiety in me. At times though, it's easier to manage then others. The times when it's harder, I tend to be more vocal about it. 
I've been noticing something of a trend lately (when i say trend, it could have been happening for a while, but I've only just become aware of it.) 
When I bring up my anxiety I am always asked, that question  


It's a good question and I suspect about 80% of people who ask it mean well but the problem is, half the time I don't know why I am anxious until its over. 
I mean sure, there are times when I know i have a commitment or something, I could be kept awake because of it for nights before hand, or i could wake up almost vomiting all over my dog. Those, those anxious times I can cope, I can often be sitting in the middle of a family gathering and feel anxious for seemingly no reason. And that's okay until people ask that one question that I do not have the answer too. 

To be honest, when I am asked this question, I always feel like I am not believed, like my anxiety is not real, like I am almost being interrigated. It makes me question myself, but seriously!

Why?............Honestly? I don;t always know!

What I do know that there is a little part of the brain called the amygdala that was damaged when I was younger me, when this traumatised bad enough, you get your funky little anxiety disorders, General Anxiety Disorders, PTSD, social phobias and like wise. The amygdala is there to pretty much (taking all the neuroscience words out of it) process your emotions, including fear which is the biggest form of anxiety. If it is damaged repeatedly, then of course it's not going to run the same, like any thing. So it's finding fear unconsciously, or consciously, depending on the situation. 

Even with this information, in my mind when ever some one as why i am anxious i feel obligated to give them a reason, because it never feels enough for me to say "I'm anxious," They want a reason, they want a solution, but I'm sorry, that's not how it works, well for me at least that's not how it works. 

So, to all the people who do not live with constant anxiety, next time some one tells you they are anxious, try not to ask why, perhaps change the question a little, try not to make your friend (or family) feel obligated to tell you, but if they do have a reason, listen openly, don't try to solve it for them, the reasons and solutions are often just as complex as the why. 

To my fellow people living with anxiety, you do not need to answer that question. If you are self aware enough to know that what you are feeling is Anxiety good on you, you're doing so well. Anxiety is hard, you do not need to make it harder but feeling obligated to help the world understand. 


If you would like to hear any more about my personal experiences with Anxiety shoot me some requests or questions in the comments below!!

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