Life update: ...Coma's, Loss, Cancer

12:30 AM

Hey guys!
It's been a while since I have posted a personal post on here. To be honest the last few posts were because I had agreed to them and before that it was smoke and mirrors in hope to cope better with everything that has gone on since I relaunched this blog. Let me start from the beginning, Shall I?


Please be mindful of your triggers, this post may contain desturbing content. 
Lane and I as children 

The Coma:

On the 17th of July, 4 days after my nephew's fifth birthday, the day after his party, I was sitting in my living room restoring this computer I am writing on when I received a phone call informing me that my Little brother, Lane was in our local hospital with tubes down his throat. Needless to say my older brother and I rushed to the hospital never letting the car go below 80kms p/h. When we arrive my mother is standing there a mess, my brother was behind a curtain with tubes down his throat - one doctor exited and what i saw i would not wish upon anybody- shortly after we arrived - and now there was some one with my mother- we were ushered in to a room that was only meant for two things in our local hospital first, was mental health, the second, bad news. Bad news is what we got. My brother was in a very dire condition. I was put into an induced coma and was placed on life support, we were told to prepare for the worst. My brother had at that point pneumonia and an unidetified superbug, it was pretty much as bad as it got. 
We followed him up to ICU were we were told to wait in the waiting room for him, this went on for what felt like hours upon hours. Eventually we were allowed in to see him, I'd never seen such horror before. My little brother was nothing like I had ever seen him. Lane and been fairly ill as a child and had still never seen him in such a state. 
One about day 6 or 7 of the coma my brother's kidney's failed and his muscles started wasting away, this was especially frightening because a) his kidneys could not drain the waste away and  more frightening b) the heart is a muscle. A day or so after he started opening his eyes and squeezing hands and things. I remember one time, my mother or some one was talking to him and i was just about to asked 'Do you think he can really hear us?' and he looked directly in to my eyes. I dont think I've ever had such instant tears in all my life. 
on the 25th of July Lane got taken of the breathing tubes as a trial and he started breathing on his own. I was so happy, a long with the rest of the family. He was a bid delirious, he didnt sleep for much of it, he was travelling the world with Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson <3. They kept him on a slight sedation but after about 24 hours he was properly out of the coma. 
He was on Dialysis for about three days then the amount poison in his blood started coming down and it was eventually set at enough for him to be taken of dialysis as well.
Lane ended up spending something like 40+ days in hospital/rehab and has since gone home and is slowly but surely getting back to who and where he was, with plans to change and grow. 
I have another post planned to talk on Lane and his recovery in the near future. 

Loss:

On the 6th of August, my whole family lost some one who meant the world to us. an amazing man and member of our Family Shawn at the age of 38
I didnt have very much to do with Shawn in my teen or adult years but he is always some one I smile of when he enters my child hood memories. Whether it was him chasing my mum with a spider sitting on his tongue, being told how he would come to our house on Christmas eve and help my mum put our new trampoline up for us, or even a memory of have of him jumping about six foot off of that trampoline in to the middle of our yard and thinking how scary yet cool it was, the only place i landed when I jumped off a trampoline was head first in to a rose bush. 
I know he has left a huge mark on this world, I would give anything I had to ease the pain of those near and dear to him. I can almost imagine what his brothers, sisters, mother and children are going through, but the pain of actually losing some one so near and dear could never be imagined. 

My Mum and I

The Cancer

This is the harder part of the blog, because it's still raw! I'm not going to talk on it much because i dare say it will get a whole lot of its own posts.
Like no other of our family members the induction of my brother in to his coma took the biggest toll on my mum. On the day he was being taken off the breathing tubes, (when we didnt know if he would survive this) she passed out in the waiting room. She was taken to the ER and told she was going through menopause, which she had quite honestly been banking on for a long time. She was pleased. Although she did not get better. 
On Tuesday the 25th of October my mum passed out in her bathroom, she called upon my brother, Lane to call the ambulance. What he told me he saw was some what like a murder scene. Mum was rushed to hospital and taken in for exploitative surgery. 
I was away at training in Sydney divided whether or not I should leave and come home to be with my family. I waited out the day and had a chance to speak to mum who convinced me to stay where I was and to return when I was supposed too, Thursday. 
I returned Thursday took about three minutes to drop my bags off and say hi to my pets. I went to the hospital which my mum asked for me and my brothers to all get to to have a family meeting. 
We got all but one brother up,( he was in Sydney, and was told minutes after the meeting.) to the hospital
We all sat down and around the bed and were informed mum has cancer. At that time we didnt know what type, which we found out the next say was Stage 3 Cervical Cancer. She was then taken to a bigger hospital about two hours away from us all. We found out upon her reaching this Hospital that the cancer is in her Cervix, Uterus and her vagina as well as very close to her bladder. 
Mum Started treatment of Five days radiation and One day Chemotherapy, with weekends off this Tuesday, November 9th. They will not be operating as the cancer is too big We are all hoping that she is well enough to be home with us for Christmas. 


The Little Things. 

There are many little things that have also happened this year that have also taken their toll, and still would have even if these three things had not. The break down of cherished friendships, the betrayal of a couple of family members the things i have attempted and failed. The things i have attempted and gained, it's all a lot to take in and it seems that stopping and processing life is a rare.

It's hard at times not to feel bitter about everything that's happened, or is happening it's hard not to just throw my hands up and say 'why bother?' where in all honesty i bother because i know that while so much is going on, I'm still lucky, i still have my mum, i still have my little brother, but most importantly i still have my strength, When there is nothing and no one left, it will be the one thing that never leaves me. 

Thank you for reading, I know this has been a bit of a hard to take post but this is real life and i plan to post more about each of these things and spread light on each of them a bit wider, but this is my update for not being the blog i promised to be, I'll be making a conscious effort to do so in the future. 

Cheers, M

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